Self-inury, also referred to as self-abuse, self-mutilation, and self-harm, is an often misunderstood and misdiagnosed problem.  Having studied this disorder for over seven years and worked with more than one hundred cases of those who have a current or past history of self-injuring, I have developed a clinical approach that has benefitted a majority of those cases.  I have a thorough working knowledge and understanding of the intricacies of this unhealthy coping skill. 

Individuals who participate in this harmful coping skill may also struggle with the following issues:  depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, perfectionism/control issues, anxiety disorders, and have an abuse history (physical, emotional, and sexual). 

What Parents Need To Know

A parent's first reaction to learning about this issue may be anger, confusion, sadness, or hurt.  It is important that the parent seek assistance from a professional who has experience in dealing with this issue before he/she confronts their child about their actions.  Over the years, I have advised parents as to how to approach the topic with their child, how to react to the news of this behavior, how to help their child find and practice better coping skills, educate them on the role of family therapy, and assist them with finding the right treatment modality for their child.  

There are many possible consequences to not seeking therapy for your child.  First, the behavior of self-injuring may increase in frequency and intensity.  Second, the child may end up seriously injuring themselves.  Third, the child may go to other unhealthy outlets as a way to cope if the core issue(s) is/are not addressed.  Fourth, the parent's anxiety and stress levels may increase as this problem goes unaddressed.  It may become the proverbial "elephant in the living room" that no one wants to deal with either out of denial, fear, anger, hurt, or other emotional reasons.  Lastly, the child may be tormented at school by his peers or teachers once knowledge of this behavior becomes public.

Important Things to Know About Self-Injury

1) It is not done for attention seeking; those that do it for attention seeking have others issues that must be addressed.

2) It is not a suicide attempt, often times it is a preventative of suicide.

3) Taking away all of the knives or other tools does not work.  From my years of experience with this topic, I have consistently found that "where there's a will, there's a way" to self-harm.

4) Self-harm is often a way for the person to communicate their feelings or the chaos that they feel inside. 

5) Self-injury or self-mutilation is treatable, and counseling is a part of that treatment.